The Boy from Ipanema
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All the excitement of the big match! I'll be following Southport at every game, home and away, and bringing you these minute by minute match reports. Unfortunately for me, I haven't as yet bought a private jet, which would allow me to commute to the games from here in Brazil. I am one of those sad people who sit in front of their computer screens for two hours every Saturday and Tuesday, watching the score flashes come in. All the action comes thanks to www.sports.com.

Southport v Yeovil Town

Haig Avenue, Saturday 26th August 2000

Following the disappointment of Tuesday night against Leigh, the supporters gathered in my TV room hoping for far better things against the Glovers of Yeovil. Four fans have made it here today; myself, Dona Valdete (the maid who I have relieved from her normal duties), Butch (the Schnauzer) and Maria Madalena (the Schnauzer puppy).

10.53: We wait with baited breath for the action to begin. I log in to sports.com.
10.57: Team sheets are announced. Ian Arnold is back!! Arnie and Stuart Whittaker take the places of Lee Elam and Martin Clarke, who are demoted to the subs bench.
11.03: According to sports.com, only the Woking v Boston game has so far kicked off.
11.05: Hednesford take a 1-0 lead over Stevenage in the first minute.
11.12: Still not kicked off at Haig Avenue. R&D go one up aat Dagenham.
11.19: Kick off at Southport.
11.28: 0-0 at Haig Ave.
11.34: For a bit of excitement, Dona Valdete goes off to clean the bathrooms.
11.48: Still no goals at Southport. Obviously Yeovil are hanging on for grim death!
11.59: Half time.

There's only one Ian Arnold!!

..Valdete's reaction to the news that Arnie is back!..

This beats ironing any day!

"Where are the goals going to come from then?" asks Valdete

During the break, the attendance has been announced as 1310. If you add that to Tuesday's gate and divide by two, the average is up on last year by a hundred or so. Good news.
Looking at the Match Centre, I see that Marsh has been booked along with Bent (very unfortunate name for a soccer player) and Pennock for Yeovil.
Now let's just hope for some goals and no power cuts please.
12.16: Second half kicks off.
12.18: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL. Furlong. Goodness that was quick.
12.25: Morecambe are still losing at Northwich. Hehe.
12.37: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL. Parke.
12.38: Madalena does a poo on the floor. Remember she is only four months old and not used to this excitement!
12.43: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL. (I do love saying that in my Portuguese accent!) Parke again. I can start to relax a bit now.
12.52: Still 3-0.
12.58: Full time at Haig Avenue. Hurray, winning feels good.

Butch rooting for Port

Butch looking a little embarassed about her outdated kit.

And so for the half time refreshment. Sadly, no pies, mushy peas and bovril on offer here, I'm afraid! But, we did have some local specialities. Iced manago and papaya juice for drinks and 'bola de estudante' for nourishment. Now, I don't know if they sell 'bola de estudante'(student's balls) at Haig Avenue, but if they don't, they should. Absolutely delicious! Anyway, back to the action.

Yum yum!!!

Valdete nibbling a student's ball!!

Oooops!!!!!!

Poo....That's what Madalena thinks of Yeovil's performance!

Verdict from Brazil: - Well, I'm a very happy chappy after that. I can now nip off to the beach with a spring in my step and a weight lifted from my shoulder. It is such a relief when Southport win. It makes my weekend. I will be nice to everyone now, until Monday that is!!!!

I want MORE!!

"Noooo, it can't be over yet!" screams Valdete. "I want that nice Simon Parke to get his third!!"